Scandal: the shocking story of Tamar and Judah

Joanne shares four lessons she learned from the recent women's Bible study series that shed light on a dark chapter in the Old Testament, and what it can tell us today

The bizarre story of Tamar and Judah in Genesis 38 reads like a racy episode of the TV series by Shonda Rhimes. Deceit, sexual misconduct, abuse of power - it’s all there … and it’s not pretty!

But what can this sordid story teach us as a community of believers in the 21st Century?

We open with Tamar, a Canaanite woman married to Judah’s eldest son, Er. She is suddenly widowed after God takes Er’s life because he is wicked.

According to the Levirite law, when the eldest son dies the second in line, Onan, must marry Tamar to produce an heir for the deceased son. He marries her, but doesn’t fully comply because he wants his own heir, and pulls out during sexual intercourse.

God takes him out too, because of his disobedience.

Judah, fearing for his third son, Shelah who is next in line to marry Tamar, sends her back to her family until his son is of age. It clearly states, though, that Judah has no intention of following through.

Tamar is destined to live out her days in shame as a destitute, childless ‘black widow’. One day she hears that Judah (now a widower) and his mate are going to Timnah to shear their sheep. Removing her widow’s clothing she disguises herself as a prostitute and hurries to the entrance to the city to await Judah.

When he encounters her, Judah propositions her and she negotiates her price, asking for two items as surety. He offers his cord and staff and they have sexual intercourse. Tamar returns home and dons her widow’s clothing. She eventually falls pregnant with Judah’s child.

Meanwhile, Judah's attempts to find and pay the prostitute are scuppered. His mate is told there’s never been a temple prostitute in the city. Judah decides not to pursue the matter to save face.

Later, Judah hears about Tamar’s prostitution and pregnancy and immediately calls for her to be executed. Just as they’re taking her away she produces the two items, saying, ‘Whoever gave these to me is my baby’s father. Do you know whose these are?’

Judah exclaims that Tamar is more righteous than he, welcomes her back into his home, and never has sex with her again.

Tamar bears twins, Perez and Zerah, who continue Judah’s line and are the direct ancestors of Jesus.

When I recounted this tale to the non-Christian friend I was staying with in London following the first session of the Micah Women Connect bible study series, she exclaimed: ‘Wow! What do you do with that story, as someone who believes in God?’

What a great question! It’s one we sometimes gloss over as believers when we come up against bits in the Bible that disrupt the narrative in our heads about how we’re meant to be as Christian women. Here are four lessons God taught me through the study:

1. Beware of what you bring to the story

There are plenty of triggers for us as Western women in the 21st century dealing with misogyny, abuse, inequality and rights. Our past experiences and culture lead us to all kinds of situational ethics that we try to apply to the Bible, or use to judge (or justify) ourselves and others.

I found myself getting riled up about the injustice of being at the absolute mercy of laws that seemed to benefit men. But I was missing the deeper truth that God’s law and principles are motivated by love and protection. We need to push past our prejudices to ask what the Spirit is really saying. Digging deeper into the story with the women’s ministry team helped challenge my perspective.

2. The story is ongoing

This brings me to the second important lesson, which I shared with my friend. We tend to take things in the Bible out of context, but it’s important to remember what went before: the selling of Joseph into slavery, which was Judah’s idea (Genesis 37). This 20-year glimpse into his family life reveals Judah at his worst. But we later see that all is not lost for him (Gen 44:16-33). We must never write off people because of their stories.

3. God sees us, as women

Sometimes this seems more of a punishment than a comfort. We may tend to view God as a policeman waiting for us to make a wrong move. But when Tamar is shamed and trapped by the actions of the men in her life, God is near and sees her plight.

Tamar is not your typical subservient woman. She doesn’t play the victim, but makes a plan that involves what we might view as questionable actions. Her restoration to the family, and her place in Jesus’ genealogy (Matthew 1) reveal that God hears our cry as women, He sees us for who we are and He will restore us.

4. God uses His providence to bring restoration

One quote from the first study in the series hit home:

‘‘The providence of God is like Hebrew words, it can only be read backwards.”

(John Flavel)

When we’re going through the messiness of our stories, it’s hard to see a way out. We make plans based on the information we have. We can’t see the woods for the trees in the chaos and pain.

Tamar had the patience to plan, and the foresight to anticipate Judah’s response, and to ensure her protection. In desperation she seized her moment to restore the family line and her place within it.

But God, who is outside of time, leads, oversees, controls and knows all things. He worked in her circumstances to ensure His bigger story of redemption for the world through her son’s line to Jesus.

When we’re mired in the deep pain of our circumstances it’s tempting to believe that God is absent or, at best, passively watching from a distance. But, wherever we are right now in our lives, our times are in His hands (Psalm 31:15). God is at work. He has placed us here and has a purpose for us as women in His redemptive plan, and for our good (Romans 8:28). We can trust Him. We can cry out to Him for our restoration.

Scandal: A tale of two Tamars (Pt 1) was an online Bible series hosted by Micah Women Connect in Sept/Oct 2023, and led by Pastor Lorna, Tigi, Jenny and Pastor Shirley. Find out more about Micah Women Connect

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